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I never thought the comment I wouldnt touch them with a 6-foot pole would become a national policy, but here we are! What will Quentin Tarantino be called if he gets COVID-19? Have scientists determined why cats can catch COVID? 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Some of these coronavirus jokes, that went so viral just a few years back, have now gained a whole new meaning. yo mama so fat that when she swam in the ocean the whales sang "we are family even though your fatter than me". In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitizer which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stock piled "Just in case".The whole lot collapsed and buried him. No one will be crossing the finish line. What do you call a postal carrier who can speak to packages? A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend." The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better." "Thanks Dad," the son says. As a result of the World Health Organization recommending lockdowns, people around the U.S. began adopting shelter dogs. try robbing the bank, you will get much more attention. 09:42 PM - 03 Dec 2013. who let the dogs out Why did Severus Snape stand in the middle of the road? 1. The actress who portrayed Luna Lovegood in the . Finland just closed its borders. Watch the latest videos about #harrypotter on TikTok. You're welcome. Mariam Zuhaib AP. According to latest figures, 63.5% of people in the U.S. have received one jab of the COVID vaccine and 54.2% are fully vaccinated. 77. How do you socially distance while around family? 58. Gopostore. 3. Yessssssssssss. OK, so apparently my chance of survival is directly reliant upon how much common sense the rest of the world has? The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend." After a record-breaking season and over one million tickets sold Harry Potter and the Cursed Child must leave Australia on July 9. Having trouble staying at home? People with a cold - "I just want to stay in bed and do nothing, I feel terrible". Moral of the story? 66. I stood on my talking scales today and they said "please practice social distancing, only one person at a time.". At least a 9 and 3/4 out of 10. Chapter One: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Groan. Haha I got stuck in quarantine with my hyperactive extrovert child. Thanks, but no thanks. I don't get it and to be honest I don't think I want to. Children of the Quarn. Why dont chefs find coronavirus jokes funny? "That's one view. Why didnt the sick guy get the joke? I had a view of, like, good and bad. Sign up for Scary Mommy's daily newsletter for more stories from the trenches. Moaning Myrtle got killed in the bathroom. Hey Pandas, Who Was Your Favorite Black History Month Icon You Learned About This BHM? Search, watch, and cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one place! How many Muggles does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Health and safety protocols for the Lyric Theatre and Harry Potter and the Cursed Child will be announced closer to the start of performances. Then it Dawned on me. Its about to get ugly out there. Shutterstock / Dean Drobot. 21. If so, check out our list of the best covid jokes the pandemic has spawned - they are just a bit further down! You've been in a coma for 8 years" says the doctor. I dont know; its all Greek to me. Harry Potter star Jessie Cave has been admitted to hospital after testing positive for Covid-19 while pregnant with her fourth child. its responsible for the obeisity crisis and only found in the USA! Replying to her post, comedian Felicity Ward said: Oh honey. 78. Sending you lots of love lovely., Sara Pascoe, also a standup, added: Oh Jessie Im so sorry this is rotten.. "Tell me you didn't understand the entire plot of Harry Potter, without telling me you didn't understand the entire plot of Harry Potter," wrote one TikTok user. You otherwise feel that you represent a significant transmission risk, e.g., you are caring for someone that has COVID-19 or is not feeling well. I'd like to get my basilisk into your chamber of secrets. It helps keep everyone at a safe distance. I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "What kills the Corona Virus? Editor's note: All of these fun puns are in the public domain. Legal Statement. The North Poll. 75. If you need 144 rolls of toilet paper for a month-long quarantine, you probably should've seen a doctor long before COVID-19. If Hermione was a mathematician what would her kids be named? 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Crookshanks has claws at the end of his paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause. Also Aivaras like's to watch and play sports, especially football. The actor, best known for her role as Lavender Brown, says her symptoms have lasted for weeks. 3 / 4. Have scientists determined why cats can catch COVID? I hate people that go out in public when they have Covid. Probably the opposite of what hell tell them next week. People have been spending more time at home reading short books. What do you call the entrance to a magical gym? Latest News & Numbers. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Did you hear about the guy speculating on hand sanitizer? (Photo by Stuart C. Wilson/Getty Images). and if you smell a death fart, run out of the building and call poison control, Day 121 at home and the dog is looking at me like, See? The Coronavirus has achieved what no female has every been able to achieve. What does he reincarnate as? 87 Coronavirus And Quarantine Jokes To Retrain Your Face To Smile. Herald Sun. It is an offence for Harry Potter and the Cursed Child tickets to be sold, or offered or advertised for resale, at a price exceeding its face value purchase price by more than 10%, unless the seller is authorised in writing by the ticketed event organiser. The virus is now in quarantine for 14 days. Do you remember on all those Sundays when you just wanted the weekend to go on forever? Wizarding World mastermind J.K. Rowling has unveiled a new website, Harry Potter at Home, in an effort to provide a mystical escape from current events in the muggle world. If you are not feeling well, we encourage you to stay home and not attend the Event. Do you really want to continue? The blind wizard goes silent for a moment before curtly replying, No I dont. He whines a lot but I just tell him that I am working for the two of us and that I'm currently job hunting in my hometown so I can spend more time with him in the future.This ain't a joke, by the way lol. By attendingHarry Potter and the Cursed Childat the Lyric Theatre, all patrons are acknowledging their consent to, and agreed to abide by, the safety precautions that have been adopted therein, which may include the wearing of face coverings. 60. If coronavirus isnt about beer, why do I keep seeing cases of it? 6. Because the chicken behind it didnt know how to socially distance properly. She rose above these struggles to become one of the bestselling authors of all time. However, what has caught the attention of people is not the concept of 'mix and match' but the main man behind the study Professor Matthew Snape. This elegant polyster mask features Harry's glasses, the golden snitch, and Prof. McGonagall's signature hat, all tastefully incorporated. It went viral faster than anyone thought it would. Performances of the award-winning play "Harry Potter and the Cursed Child" have also been suspended in various locations around the world, including New York . and turns out half of america has no common sense. The Ickabog author later defended her comments, penning a lengthy essay explaining her controversial views on gender. And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers, 50 Times People Had A Beautiful Tattoo Idea And It Got Executed Perfectly, Storage Company Charges Client For Something That Never Existed, So She Pretends Like It Does And Now They Have To Find It, "Can't Approve Overtime? What should you do if you dont understand a coronavirus joke? We respect your privacy. (DON EMMERT/AFP via Getty Images). Found a lady sitting on my couch yesterday. 5. What will we call the babies born nine months from now? Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. And, once you are there, do not forget to give your vote for the most hilarious joke on this list. Presented without commentary. Sitemap, Your California Privacy Rights When this whole Covid saga is done and dusted, I still want many of you to stay away from me. J.K. Rowling, the series' author, defended herself last month against continued attacks from transgender activists. If I get quarantined for two weeks with my wife and I die. A glass of wine in each hand. How much does it cost to watch Harry Potter play his favorite sport? Harry Potter and the Philospher's Stone was the first book of the bestselling series. Meanwhile, another penned: "Professor Snape on BBC . What do all virus jokes have in common? The grocery stores in France look like tornadoes hit them. COVID-19 SAFETY MEASURES: By attending Harry Potter and the Cursed Child at the Lyric Theatre, all patrons are acknowledging their consent to, and agreed to abide by, the safety precautions that have been adopted therein, which may include the wearing of face coverings.. Health and safety protocols for the Lyric Theatre and Harry Potter and the Cursed Child will be announced closer to the . who let the dogs out Why cant Harry Potter tell the difference between his potions pot and his best friend? Well, loads of things, but considering the silly nature of the question, lets just agree that nothing is more fun! . The Devil's Snare is no joke, so if McLaggen was that bad then I hope our girl handled him the same way she handled the Snare in the first book. It was a joke about being PUREnot getting the damn vaccine. "Harry Potter" star Evanna Lynch says J.K. Rowling deserves "more grace" amid claims that the author is transphobic. Jeans at least once a week, just to be sure you could. " I'll be dead ," she said on "The Witch Trials of J.K. Rowling" when asked . 32. Well, wish granted. And nobody knows what time it is. My mom always told me I wouldnt accomplish anything by lying in bed all day. I ran out of toilet paper and had to start using old newspapers. Pollen still coming out during a global pandemic? I love Harry Potter, but after re-reading the chapter The Deathday Party, I realized something about Nearly Headless Nick. Joe Silverstein is a production assistant for Fox News Digital. All rights reserved.